One suggestion though, split the paragraphs with a line break between them. xxvideo One suggestion though, split the paragraphs with a line break between them. It makes it easier for the reader to follow a story.«12» However, a little more build up to the actual rape would be good. 7 comments«12»READERReport 2009-10-14 10:20:44not bad for a first…shorten the paragraghs..easier to read that way, and please, a little more character development and backgroundAnonymous readerReport 2009-08-25 17:03:32Good story. One suggestion though, split the paragraphs with a line break between them. Thank you.Anonymous readerReport 2009-05-03 17:40:27Very good…made me cum. Thank you.Anonymous readerReport 2009-05-03 17:40:27Very good…made me cum. 7 comments«12»READERReport 2009-10-14 10:20:44not bad for a first…shorten the paragraghs..easier to read that way, and please, a little more character development and backgroundAnonymous readerReport 2009-08-25 17:03:32Good story.
